The St. George Half Marathon – Matthew Jacobson

THE SKEWED REVIEW | EVERYTHING ELSE 

This is the third time I've run The St. George Half Marathon, and the second time I've finished it. (Last year some medical issues got in the way, but hey – I did make it to mile 5 before I had to call it quits!) For those of you thinking about running it in 2016, here's what you should expect.

The Course

The course is relatively standard. It runs on the city streets for half the race, and on city trails the other half. After 2.5 mark, it starts going uphill. The Bloomington Hills area of St. George is very hilly, so there is a lot of up and down throughout that area. There's little-to-no level roads from 2.5 until the summit of the course at the halfway mark, where the course begins its downward slope. At about 7.5 miles, the course turns to city trails, which are more-or-less even. The race finishes where it starts.

The View

St. George is a very scenic city, surrounded by beautiful red rocks and desert. The forced landscape is beautiful, too. However, there's one time of the year when the city is ugly and barren, and that's in the middle of January.

This is what makes The St. George Half Marathon unappealing. It's cold and it's ugly. Everything is brown. In a way, it's disheartening. Instead of being able to enjoy the surroundings, you're just wishing the race would be over already so you can get away from this dead, disgusting place.

The Medal

The medal is an integral part to running these races. We runners like to display them proudly, so it's nice when there's a rad medal with an awesome design. I have to give props to St. George for changing up the design of the half marathon medal from years past (the St. George Marathon medal stays the same year after year...), but I don't particularly like the vomit green used for the ribbon.

I'm still hoping one of these races will feature an awesome black and white medal.

Overall Rating

The challenging first half makes this a race you feel good about completing. But the scenery leaves much to be desired.

Follow The Skewed Review on Twitter @TheSkewedReview; like The Skewed Review at Facebook.com/TheSkewedReview.

How Is This Movie? - Matthew Jacobson

THE SKEWED REVIEW | PODCASTS

If you're not already aware, I write a Blu-ray column for Gannett. In it, I review not only the movies but also the bonus content. After all, many of us buy Blu-rays because we get extras in addition to the film.

Why else would we shell out close to $30 per film? We want more than just the movie we paid $15 to see in the theater.

By the way, you can read my Blu-ray reviews, plus my weekly geek column, by clicking this sentence.

I'm personally interested in everything that goes into making a movie. I eat up those behind-the-scenes mini documentaries found on most Blu-rays. It's fascinating to see what makes movies work or what makes them fail.

That's why I love the podcast, "How Is This Movie?"

Host Dana Buckler researches movies and movie stars and then gives us behind-the-scenes information on topics like Wes Craven films, Star Wars and Eddie Murphy, just to name a few. This podcast is basically an audio version of the Blu-ray behind-the-scenes bonus feature. It's a fascinating look at the process behind our favorite films.

This is one of about 10 podcasts that I listen to regularly. If you love movies, you should listen, too.

You can subscribe to the podcast on iTunes here.

Big Eyes - Matthew Jacobson

THE SKEWED REVIEW | FILM

It's almost as if Tim Burton woke up one day and said, "I'll prove I can make a movie without Johnny Depp," and the proceeded to make the most un-Burton Tim Burton film to date.

And you know what? It worked out great.

Sweetheart Amy Adams plays Margaret Keane, a woman whose artistic talent got her work known worldwide – under someone else's name, that is. Her husband, Walter, played by the ever-so-slimy and ever-so-genius Christoph Waltz, convinces Margaret that the world just won't accept a female artist, and takes the credit for her work instead.

Based on the true story of Margaret Keane, "Big Eyes" was fascinating and enthralling. I, along with millions of others, I assume, went directly to my computer following the movie. I immediately punched "Keane" into Google images to see the real life art.

And while I'm a huge Tim Burton fan – I laud each and every one of his films, even when they're critically panned – I have to admit it was a breath of fresh air to see him take on something new. "Big Eyes" is more akin to his 2003 film "Big Fish."

This begs the question, of course: will his next un-Burton film have "Big" in the title, as well?

Missing from the movie was the cast of usual Burton suspects; most notably absent were Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Honestly, the three of them needed a bit of a break, anyway.

Actually, with Carter and Burton's recent split, something tells me that particular break is going to last a long time – if not forever. Remember Lisa Marie, who played the part of Vampira in Burton's other biopic, "Ed Wood"? Yeah, she appeared in his films while the two were dating. But she hasn't been heard from since the two broke up.

I hope she's still alive.

I can't wait to own this on Blu-ray. This is by far one of Burton's best films. And it's clear this man knows how to make a biopic. (Edward Scissorhands is a biopic, right?) Now, I think I'll go watch "Ed Wood" again.

Follow The Skewed Review on Twitter, @TheSkewedReview and at Facebook.com/TheSkewedReview.

Devil's Due - Matty Jacobson

THE SKEWED REVIEW | FILM

In my never-ending quest to find the next sleeper horror hit, the likes of which leave me awake at night ("Paranormal Activity 3!"), I paid real, actual dollars to see "Devil's Due." 

It's a mockumentary, found footage style, about a newly-married woman who is impregnated by, Satan, I guess, while on her honeymoon. 

It's not a spoiler. I mean, look at the movie title. 

The reason I think it should be torn into a million pieces and then shoved down the throats of the filmmakers is this: If you want to make a truly scary movie in this day and age, you need to eliminate motive and explanation. Seriously. 

Something can be creepy, scary, haunting without having to be explained to the audience. In fact, when you don't explain the origin of something to the audience, said audience is left to dream up their own personal nightmare instead. 

That's why the very first "Paranormal Activity" worked so well -- despite the horrible acting. The demon was never shown, so we were all left to imagine what it would look like. And there's only one person in the world who can imagine the scariest thing ever. That's you -- thinking about the scariest thing ever to you. 

"Devil's Due" gives us a stupid rehash of "The Last Exorcism" in that not only is Satan's baby inside this woman, but there's also a group of people -- a coven or whatever -- who are actively making sure the Antichrist is born. 

So, no. I wasn't scared. There were no good GOTCHA scares. There wasn't anything that made this film any better than the worst found footage film I've seen. Laaaaaame. 

Save your money. 

My Fitness Pal - by Matty Jacobson

THE SKEWED REVIEW | TECHNOLOGY | PRODUCTS

Being sexy isn't easy. It takes a lot of discipline: eating correctly, working out, and keeping track of everything so you know you're doing it right.

It's true those things come naturally to the luckier of us. But for everyone else, we either have to be meticulous about what we put into our bodies and what activities we do to ensure our food is getting put to good use, or we simply become unhealthy, out of shape and overweight. 

There are a lot of apps that serve this purpose. I've tried a few, but the one I'm most satisfied with is MyFitnessPal. 


This app isn't just for people like me who are trying to trim the fat. It's also for anyone who wants to maintain a certain weight, or even gain muscle weight. 

The program gets your current weight, your goal weight (if you have one) and your height. It then generates how many calories you should be consuming each day. Surprise, surprise, it's not 2,000. In fact, for me to stay at a svelte 185 (I'm 6-feet 2-inches tall, mind you), I should only be consuming 1,390 calories per day. 

"But Matty!" You're screaming right now, I assume. "Swimmer Ryan Phelps! He's about your height and he consumes 12,000 calories a day!" 


Well, that's because he's an athlete. And most days, I end up consuming between 3,000 and 5,000 calories because I also run. That's one of my favorite parts of the MyFitnessPal app. 

At the end of your workout, you let the app know what type of activity you were doing, and how long you were active. It then adds the applicable amount of calories to your diet. So if I want to go to a movie and plan on downing an entire tub of popcorn by myself, then I need to work out for about an hour to free up the necessary 1,000 calories. 

It's simple, but I had to get into the habit of adding my food to the diary after every meal. (Ideally, this app would come with some sort of computer chip you swallow that doesn't digest and reads everything you eat so you don't have to do any work -- but I'm not holding my breath for that technology.) But the food diary is really simple to use. Anything you purchase can be scanned with the app's barcode feature. Anything else will most definitely be in the diary's database. 

And if you're cooking a ridiculous recipe all your own, just add the ingredients to the diary separately. The diary keeps track of what you put into it, so once you've entered it in once, you only have to scroll through your foods to add it again. 

At the end of the day, MyFitnessPal tells you how much you will weight in two weeks if your eating and exercise habits remain the same. 

Some days, the app tells me I'll weigh 175 pounds, and one or two times I've been told I'ld weigh more than 210 if I kept it up. But for the most part, actually utilizing the app has made me more aware of the kinds of foods I eat. 

Now if only the App Store could come up with something that would track my food and activity without my having to do a thing. 

OH NO, Ross and Carrie! - By Matty Jacobson

THE SKEWED REVIEW | PODCASTS

Podcasts on the strange and mysterious have always fascinated me, and to this day I think it's a shame that AM Coast-to-Coast isn't available in podcast format.

However, I've never really been interested in listening to those skeptics' podcasts that tear apart all the fun of occultism, the Illuminati, mysticism and whatnot. But as I happened to hear a plug for this particular show, "Oh No, Ross and Carrie!", when I was listening to another podcast.

It piqued my interest because the hosts, Ross Blocher and Carrie Poppy, don't just sit and talk about why dousing rods are just a bunch of hooey. No, they actually go and investigate. Since they delve pretty deep into topics, the show is released monthly.

I wasn't sure if I planned on actually investing my time in this show, but as I scrolled through old episodes, I saw they had a two-parter on Mormonism. Well, considering everything that's going on currently with Utah and the denial of equal rights of its citizens because of the aforementioned church, I had to take a listen.

Ross and Carrie are true investigators. They sat through all the missionary discussions (back when the missionaries did that sort of thing), attended church, legitimately prayed about their experiences and -- gasp! -- also got baptized.

I was astounded at the level of commitment to getting the whole story. But Mormonism isn't the only topic they cover. From Kabbalah to juice cleansing, this duo goes in strong under the guise of being legitimately interested. And, from listening to a few episodes, it seems like the two do get legitimately interested in some aspects of the things they investigate.

They wrap up with informing the listeners about the dangers, the financial impact and the scientific probability, among other things, of whatever religion/belief/superstition they've spent their time on.

You can check out their website and stream the show here. You can subscribe to the show through iTunes here.

Myrtle Snow: The Best... Ever? -- By Matty Jacobson

THE SKEWED REVIEW | TELEVISION

Since 2009, The Skewed Review has given its opinion on films, music, iPhone apps, legislation, presidents, clothes, marathons and everything in between. But we're breaking new ground today as we review a character from a television show. 

Many shows have warranted a nod from us, but few characters housed within those shows have been striking enough to garner a column dedicated wholly to him or her. 

And when it comes to "striking," nobody holds a candle to "American Horror Story: Coven's" Myrtle Snow ("I've got a book of matches in my pocket Fiona, and I'm just dying to light this fire").

Played by Frances Conroy, Myrtle's great quotes ("Mothballs and history. It's a cocktail I swoon for!") aren't the only thing that make her the sleeper star of "Coven." Her badass fashion sense and shocking red hair round out the perfect witch who's a decadently divine combination of mystery, snark and fabulousness. 

And when it comes to hair, as Myrtle puts it, "Oh little bird, I've been buying in bulk from North Korea for years!" 

Myrtle is just one of the many witchy opponents to Jessica Lange's Fiona Goode, who is everyone else's favorite spellcaster. But Myrtle's special kind of vengeance for all things Fiona -- portrayed through dry dialogue, minimal facial expressions, and a dangerous melon baller -- bring the icing to the already delicious cake that is "Coven." 

Whether she's playing an instrument (a theremin!) or commenting on the decor ("I'm just mad for tartan!"), we're always on the edge of our seats waiting for Myrtle's next appearance. 

What does the rest of the season have in store for our favorite fiery ginger? It won't matter if she goes down in flames (again), she'll still be our favorite thing to come out of the "Horror Story" franchise! 

Why Mormons Cannot Trust Their Own Church Anymore -- by Matty Jacobson

THE SKEWED REVIEW | HEADLINES

In response to the recent court battles over equal rights and the outpouring of calls for marriage equality, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released a statement Jan. 10 bolstering its doctrine that marriage is between one man and one woman. No exceptions. According to the statement:

"Marriage between a man and a woman was instituted by God and is central to His plan for His children and for the well-being of society. Strong families, guided by a loving mother and father, serve as the fundamental institution for nurturing children, instilling faith, and transmitting to future generations the moral strengths and values that are important to civilization and crucial to eternal salvation. Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established."

It's a proclamation from the headquarters of the prophet himself. And, as all faithful LDS members know, the prophet communes with God himself, so this news might as well have come from the Lord Almighty. And we'll return to that in a moment.

In the meantime, let's take a look at another proclamation released from the church in 2013. This one tackles the scandalous topic of race and the priesthood. According to that statement: 

"[In 1852] Brigham Young announced a policy restricting men of black African descent from priesthood ordination. At the same time, President Young said that at some future day, black Church members would 'have [all] the privilege and more' enjoyed by other members. ... The curse of Cain was often put forward as justification for the priesthood and temple restrictions."

This information, found on the official LDS website, goes on to say that "... Church leaders believed that a revelation from God was needed to alter the policy and they made ongoing efforts to understand what should be done. After praying for guidance, President (David) McKay did not feel impressed to lift the ban." 

So, in black and white (pun intended) on the Church's website, we see that a prophet of God prayed and was, essentially, told not to allow black men to have the priesthood. 

The statement continues and tells us that the prophet Spencer Kimball received a revelation in 1978 that God was finally cool with the descendants of Cain receiving the priesthood. 

What's interesting is what follows in the statement: 

"Today, the Church disavows the theories advanced in the past that black skin is a sign of divine disfavor or curse, or that it reflects actions in a premortal life; that mixed-race marriages are a sin; or that blacks or people of any other race or ethnicity are inferior in any way to anyone else. Church leaders today unequivocally condemn all racism, past and present, in any form." 

What the LDS Church is saying here is that the proclamation to exclude black men from the priesthood was not an act of God, but an act of man. Furthermore, when a so-called prophet of God prayed on the matter decades later, he was "not impressed to lift the ban." 

Should God have not related to the very men who are his mouthpiece on earth sometime between the rein of Brigham Young and Spencer Kimball that this was not his word, but merely the bigotry of a racist man? 

Interesting. And today, the LDS church acknowledges that this was not an act of God. Yet, for nearly a century, it was treated as such. The faithful members were left to speculate as to why God would deny black men the priesthood. And the church itself never stepped in to denounce any of those speculations until just last year. 

So, how many other proclamations that come from the mouths of LDS prophets are actually rooted in the biases of the prophet himself and not of God? How can any critically-thinking Latter-day Saint not look at the proclamation that family is only reserved for a man and woman and not think, "God supposedly told the prophet black men weren't allowed to hold the priesthood, either, but we now know it wasn't God." 

And for men who profess to speak on behalf of God, it sure is interesting how it took nearly 100 years for God's voice to actually come through. So what's stopping the current LDS leaders from professing to speak on behalf of God, but only speak their own bigotry? 

The answer: not much. 

Faithful LDS members may say they pray and have a testimony that what the prophet says is true. Well, prayers and testimonies were also "true" from the time blacks were denied the priesthood up until last year. 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has proven itself. It presents doctrine based on the feelings of a single man, and woe be unto those who fall under the bigoted biases of that man. 

More importantly, and sadly, woe be unto those who follow blindly without question. They are the ones who are hurting their fellow humans, destroying live and tearing apart families.

God gave them reason. Maybe He did that so they could save themselves from being conned at such a grand level. 

Petition Delivered! -- by Matty Jacobson

Tweet

Aimed at those who seek to destroy our families, this
sign was a little ironic since it was displayed by
Matty Jacobson, who attended the rally without his
family due to conflicting schedules.

 THE SKEWED REVIEW | HEADLINES

Who would have thought that the petition started to make a simple point -- don't spend $2 million on hate -- would make it all the way to Utah's Capitol Hill?

Well, it did. Of course that petition piggybacked on the bigger success of another petition, started by Tim Wagner, which calls for Gov. Gary Herbert to let marriage equality stand. But together, the two petitions garnered at least 56,000 signatures at the time of delivery.

And the signing continues.

With the help of MoveOn.org, I was able to make the trip to Salt Lake City to see my petition was delivered. And what an experience it was.

It was awe-inspiring to see the capital rotunda packed with supporters of equal rights. There were glorious stories of family values being told, beautiful examples of family success, and it all hopefully got the attention of the state. But we'll see about that.

All the couples who were legally married
in Utah during the brief period of time
when the state had equal rights gather at
the rally Jan. 11 to show their support for
family values.

Through the efforts of Salt Lake City-area radio personality Troy Williams, the rally was put together with only a couple of days notice. But just after noon on Jan. 10, roughly 1,800 supporters gathered inside the capital.

Wagner spoke to the crowd about the importance of letting love rule the day. He told me later that he hadn't intended for his petition to snowball into the behemoth it is today, but that he's glad it did.

I also had the opportunity to speak to the crowd, although I was wholly unprepared to do so. I wish I'd have written something down, but I tried to get my point across as briefly as possible that Utah, like any place or person on this planet, could stand to be improved. And while $2 million might not mean a lot to the governor, it could mean a world of difference to students, the poor, the hungry, the unemployed and the environment.

So I enthusiastically called for those in attendance to help me let the governor know that we don't want our taxpayer money to go toward hate.

Pictured is the printout of the combined
petitions. Numbering thousands and
thousands of pages, at least 56,000
signatures were delivered to the governor's
office Jan. 11.

The rally was filled to the brim with an array of speakers from every walk of life. The Kitchens, who first filed the lawsuit against the state of Utah, talked about the changing opinions in the public arena. Schoolteachers talked about how their daughter was being harmed because of the governor's action. The child of a same-sex couple defended his parents and made it a point to tell Herby that he's doing great, and the only thing he has to fear are the rights and protections he doesn't have because his parents aren't legally recognized as married in the state of Utah.

But the rally wasn't without its downside.

I travelled alone because my husband had to work. Unlike the state of Utah, we don't have the funds to throw money at whatever we want. Luckily, I had the day off, so I could make the trip. Sadly, I had no one by my side.

For a governor who's so concerned about family values, he doesn't seem to care that he's breaking up all these families who showed up, or that he made me leave my husband (which, as ridiculous as it may sound, was incredibly painful considering the situation) to demand I be afforded the same dignity and rights the governor enjoys on a daily basis.

But despite my loneliness, I couldn't help but leave with a feeling of accomplishment. Despite the fact that Herby the No-love Gov. has yet to release a statement that he even knows about our petitions.

Let's keep up the good fight. We can't be ignored forever.

Below the Facebook comments is a video shot by Dominique Storni, which shows the majority of the rally.

American Horror Story: Coven - By Matty Jacobson

Tweet

THE SKEWED REVIEW | TELEVISION

It's not often I get really into a show that isn't already off the air. More often than not, I'll get hooked on a show because it popped up on Netflix, and then I'll usually just binge-watch through however many seasons are available.

There were other shows I started watching that I fully intended to keep up with. "Once Upon a Time," "Scandal," "Revenge" and "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." are just a few examples. I don't know if I just lack the attention span to stay with a show when I have to wait a whole week between airings, or if TV just ain't what it should be, but shows that follow a story arc just don't seem to be my cup of tea.

Except for "American Horror Story: Coven."

The first season of "American Horror Story" did what this season is doing for me. It lassoed me in with historical mysteries, gore and the paranormal. The first season even gave me nightmares! Suffice to say, I felt like I would be in it for the long haul.

It didn't hurt that AHS creators planned on starting a new horror story each season. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for "American Horror Story: Asylum."

What a downer. Last season was muddled and confusing, had hardly a real scare, and lacked any of the big historical mysteries that season one offered (such as the Black Dahlia nod).

So I was a little reluctant coming into the third season. But, as more was revealed about what "Coven" would entail -- witchcraft, New Orleans, Delphine LaLaurie, Marie Laveau -- my anticipation became insufferable.

I took a trip to New Orleans last year, and have since been fascinated with the place and its incredibly spooky history. So I hyped myself up for AHS's new season -- something that usually sets me up for disappointment.

But "Coven" has yet to disappoint. I've even entertained the idea that "Coven" should have another season. I'm that invested.

And of all the wonderful, grotesque, evil, lovable, hatable characters, there's one I just can't get enough of: Francis Conroy's Myrtle Snow. How can I begin to describe how much I dig her? She's got the best lines in the whole show (when asked how her burned-off hair grew back so fast, "I've been buying in bulk for years!" Myrtle responds), but her fashion sense is off the charts.

And the woman's got serious style. She was super concerned about the witches who left Salem hundreds of years before because they had to travel all that distance without a bidet. What class!

I am team Myrtle all the way.

I am going to be so sad when this season ends. My biggest fear: How will "AHS" top this season? It will definitely be a challenge.

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones - By Matty Jacobson

Tweet

THE SKEWED REVIEW | FILM

What was it about "Paranormal Activity" that scared the living hell out of me? The acting wasn't great, the production was cheap, and the whole concept was kind of cheesy.

Nonetheless, the first in the franchise made it hard for me to sleep for a while. I didn't care for the second one at all, but for some reason, the third installment scared me even more than the first. The unseen demon Toby pretty much followed me home from the movie theater. At least, in my mind he did.

So I figured there was a pattern. Even numbered "Paranormal Activities" are the ones to skip. So of course I wanted to check out "The Marked Ones" in hopes that the odd-numbered trend would continue.

I mean, yeah, it sucks trying to sleep when you're so scared, but it's also fun to get that scared in the first place.

Well, I was incredibly disappointed. What made the original and the third movies so great was that unseen presence of something that is trying to hurt you. The second film wasn't as successful because of all the cameras. But "Marked Ones" just comes across as another generic found footage film, documenting what some random teenager is going through.

That sense of something huge and evil lurking in the shadows is sadly missing. And, as in every "Activity" film, I found the explanation of the goings-on unnecessary. The whole tracing-it-back-to-witches thing sort of detracts from the mystery.

I think "Paranormal Activity" has run its course. If you're not going to give us Toby, then don't give us anything at all.

The Dead Authors Podcast - by Matty Jacobson

Tweet

THE SKEWED REVIEW | PODCASTS

Podcasts come in every shape, size, color and any other noun that would metaphorically but not literally apply to something you listen to.

But one thing you'll usually find is podcasts tend to stay within their genres. If you're downloading an educational podcast, its goal is to educate. If you're downloading a comedy podcast, its goal is to make you laugh, and so on.

So when a podcast can combine genres, it's something special, and "The Dead Authors Podcast" does just that.

"Dead Authors" is hosted by a time-travelling H. G. Wells, of "The Time Machine" fame (and played by the multi-charactered Paul F. Tompkins), who pulls dead authors (played by an array of comedians) out of time and brings them to the UCB stage in Los Angeles. The authors then discuss their lives and works with Wells -- unscripted.

It's educational because Tompkins and the guests talk about the authors' lives. We get insight into what an author was like, what he or she found inspirational, what his or her vices were, etc. Of course, since they're all comedians, the podcast is less of a lecture and more of an improv show.

And best of all, "Dead Authors" also benefits 826LA, which is a non-profit writing and tutoring center "dedicated to supporting students ages 6 to 18 with their creative and expository writing skills, and to helping teachers inspire their students to write," according to 826LA.org. 

Some of my personal favorite guest authors were John Hodgman as Ayn Rand, Kristen Schaal as Tennessee Williams, and Jessica Chaffin as Agatha Christie. Make sure to check those out!

You can get information about the podcast and stream it here. You can subscribe to it on iTunes here.

American Hustle - By Matty Jacobson

Tweet

THE SKEWED REVIEW | FILM

Christian Bale has never been my most favorite of actors. Essentially, he's kind of a prick. And don't get me started on Bradley Cooper, who's penchant for playing douchebags leaves a rotten smell in my nose. And as for Jennifer Lawrence? Listen, I really like the girl. I think the's got a great attitude about life, and she's obviously a good actress or else she wouldn't have received an Academy Award. But her role in "American Hustle" seemed like a struggle for her.

OK, so now that I've got all my bitchiness out, allow me to elaborate on what I really thought of "American Hustle."

Dammit, this film is good. I'm not the only one who thinks so. Ninety-two percent of critics on RottenTomatoes.com loved this movie, too. A slightly lower, but still impressive, 81 percent of regular old movie-goers like you and I loved it, too.

First off, the main selling point for me was not the always wonderful Amy Adams, or even the great (but sometimes slightly homophobic in a "he doeth protest too much" kind of way) Jeremy Renner. While those two are great, I was initially wooed by the costume design.

I live and die for glam, so the fabulous clothes (especially those worn by Adams) got me hook, line and sinker. Everything else -- the great and engaging storyline, the super suspenseful scene with Robert De Nero, the mind-blowing ending -- was just kind of an afterthought.

But as afterthoughts go, they were good ones. I literally gasped at one point, and I don't consider myself the gasping kind -- at least not in movie theaters.

"American Hustle" was an excellent combination of suspense, comedy, clothes and "Oceans 11"-esque trickery. I loved it, and I'll see it again. This was one of the best pieces of art to come out of 2013.

Tell Utah to do good with its $2M and not waste it fighting marriage equality - Matty Jacobson

Tweet

Said every Utah taxpayer, apparently.

THE SKEWED REVIEW | HEADLINES

Two million dollars is a lot of money. It's more than the majority of Americans will ever see in their lifetimes.

Whole generations of families can live and die and never see anything close to that amount of money.

There's a lot that can be done with $2 million, and the state of Utah thinks it knows the best way to put said money to use: by fighting marriage equality.

Rather than allow two people who love each other to sign a contract and be allowed the same benefits as anyone else, our state is taking taxpayer dollars and using to hire additional attorneys, in addition to our newly-appointed attorney general, so the state can have the best representation possible when it goes before the Supreme Court.

Go anywhere on the Internet, and you'll find arguments both for and against this. In the end, I have no doubt Utah will lose. And Utah isn't too sure of its chances, either, or else it wouldn't have dedicated such an obscene amount of money to fight the battle.

What I don't understand is why the average Utah taxpayer isn't up-in-arms over this. After all, it's not money that magically appeared out of nowhere. These are dollars that were earned by the retail salesman who worked overtime, by the sanitation workers who pick up trash, by the teachers who educate our children. Am I to believe that these people want the money they worked so hard for to go toward a losing -- and morally corrupt -- cause?

But let's say that you do. Let's say your dedication to religion is so great that you would spend ridiculous amounts of money to make sure two people who have literally zero effect on your life can not reap the same benefits you enjoy.

Are you not being a hypocrite, then? There are few parts of the Bible that I take with me. But there was one thing that seemed to stick out. Jesus said that he had one commandment before all others, and that was to love one another.

Now, you can still disagree that love is reserved only for you and the people whom you deem fit for love, but you cannot disagree that there are far better things $2 million can be spent on. After all, is charity -- love for one another -- not the commandment above all commandments?

Here's some acts of love that could be performed with $2 million.

Help The Homeless

There were around 15,000 homeless Utahns in 2012, according to this report. While only 3 percent of that number are chronically homeless, that makes me wonder: could $2 million do something to alleviate said percentage?

Increase Spending on Education

Did you know that Utah ranks last on spending per pupil? That's right. According to this report, "Utah spent less per student on elementary and secondary education than any other state in the nation." That's right. You'd think Utah would put a little more effort into providing its schools with the materials it needs to provide quality educations. Imagine the supplies $2 million could provide for some of our lesser-off institutions.

Feed The Hungry

According to this report, "Utah is one of 16 states nationwide where the number of families with children who have trouble accessing enough food is 9 percent or more." A Utah Food Bank spokeswoman even says that 117,281 Utah children were food insecure. How many meals to hungry children could $2 million provide?

These are just three examples. There are countless more. People in our state are in need, and fighting marriage equality is not bettering the quality of life of anyone. Nobody's existence on this planet will be more comfortable, nobody's empty plate will suddenly be filled, nobody's illness cured, nobody's naked body clothed, nobody's child's education bettered, by forcing a religious belief on people who don't subscribe to that belief.

So please sign this petition. Tell the state of Utah that throwing $2 million of your taxpayer dollars away on hate is something you won't stand for. Do good in the world. Make this planet a place that's worth living on. Support unity and love.


As it stands, the state gets the following rating for such frivolous spending. Utah, there's still time to fill in these empty stars.

You're Gay? You're Fired - Matty Jacobson

Tweet

THE SKEWED REVIEW | HEADLINES

With all the celebration over equal rights in the state of Utah, it actually occurred to me in the wee hours of the morning that, no, we're still second-class citizens.

The only difference is when we get fired for being gay, we'll still be legally married.

So yes, we can check one thing off the list, but we can't forget that there's still more to go.

This issue literally kept me awake this morning. As you may or may not know, I've been celebrating quite publicly the love I have for my husband and the joy I feel for all my friends who can finally get married and be recognized by our state as such. I've been posing rhetorical questions to naysayers who think we lowly gays should not have the same rights.

I have been asking, and have yet to get a real response, what rights of the opposed have been violated by allowing everyone the right to marry. I posted an example of this questioning on my Facebook page, and one my friends told me she knew of a woman who was going to cancel her subscription to the newspaper I work at because our publication hires gay people.

First of all, never mind that if that's what this woman does when she finds out a gay person works at an establishment she patronizes, then she's SOL with everything she purchases.

But what woke me up this morning before the sun peaked over my Utah home was the fact that it doesn't matter if there are a million gay people who work for my publication. My company, and almost every company in Utah, for that matter, could fire a person just for being gay.

Now, there is a map circulating the Internet that shows where a person is protected when it comes to employment and housing; it's pretty comprehensive. However, take a look at the lower left corner of Utah. That's Washington County -- my home -- in purple.

In my research for this article, I felt a moment of alleviation when I saw this map. But then I started thinking, when did my county pass an anti-discrimination ordinance? Where the hell was I? I mean, I work in the news industry. You'd think a piece of legislation that protected me would at least grab my attention.

But no, it's actually not true. The closest thing we have to protection here in Washington County is the progressive town of Springdale, which passed its anti-discrimination policy earlier this year.

So here's the thing: Actually, a lot of people don't realize that being fired for being gay is not only actually a thing, but it can and does happen. On one hand, that's good because most people think we live in a world where that sort of atrocity would have been long ago outlawed. (Which, duh, it should have been!)

But on the other hand, because so many people don't realize there aren't laws on the books concerning this type of issue, the people who would normally be outraged at such a thing aren't concerning themselves with passing such legislation.

Utah Senator Steve Urquhart, R-St. George, introduced a bill this year to the state legislation that would make pass non-discrimination laws across Utah. Sounds like a pretty good deal, right? Believe it or not, the mostly-LDS legislators (a religion that isn't always seen as favorable in the eyes of others, yet still enjoys the protections of anti-discrimination ordinances) refused to see the bill passed. Urquhart is trying again this year, but there could be even more opposition from the people you and I have elected.

With so many of the LDS faith up-in-arms over marriage equality, I fear the bill will be killed with extreme prejudice by those on Capitol Hill who disagree with marriage equality.

I pose the question to you again, to those who who think we in the LGBT community don't deserve to keep our jobs, our housing and our marriages: How are YOUR rights being infringed on when we are given the SAME rights that you have?

Please, include your answers in the comments section. I really, really do want to know.

Femme Fatalacast - Matty Jacobson

Tweet

THE SKEWED REVIEW | PODCASTS

OK, this one should definitely come with a disclaimer. Now usually I don't do reviews of things I am personally tied to in some way. I don't have anything to do with this podcast, but I should say one of my buddies is a host, and I am Facebook friends with one of the other hosts and a producer.

So, that being said, take my review as you will. I'll try not to be biased. But... no guarantees. Sorry.

Sometimes it's fun to just sit back and listen to other people gripe. Well, a lot of podcasts do this, but it's fun when you can get one with a local flair.

Femme Fatalacast started off as just a women-oriented type of deal, but it didn't take long before the gals, Cori Hoekstra and Syd Werner, started adding sausage to the taco.

Please, forgive me for that last sentence. It has to stay, though.

While this show is eventually sent to the podcast format, your best bet for listening will be live. Unlike your regular talk shows, "Femme Fatalacast" is broadcast through UtahFM.org, so it's commercial-free and uncensored.

Each week focuses on a new topic, from "Gnarly Sex Germs" to "Gratitude." The ladies take calls and chat with folks via Google Hangout. It's fun to get interactive with them, although I personally haven't been able to do the whole Hangout thing. However, I have written in and had my stuff read on air while I've been editing at work.

It makes for a good time.

The thing that sets "Fatalacast" apart from the others is it's way more personal. Your input is almost assured if you're willing to call/text/write/Google Hangout.

Check them out Sundays at 8:15 p.m. Mountain Time at www.utahfm.org. You can also subscribe to this podcast here. Hook up with the show on Google Hangouts here. And if you're listening live, call or text during the show to 385-215-9225.

'Anything After' App - Matty Jacobson

Tweet

THE SKEWED REVIEW | TECHNOLOGY | PRODUCTS | EVERYTHING ELSE

More and more filmmakers are utilizing the movie's credits to add additional scenes. These can be throwaway scenes meant just for laughs, they can be plot clarifications or, as we see in most Marvel-related superhero flicks, the scene during and/or after the credits usually sets up some sort of sequel.

I affectionately call these extra scenes "Credit Cookies." But they're also known as stingers or just plain old "that scene after the credits."

Whatever terminology you prefer, the fact is sometimes there's extra footage that you don't want to miss. But sometimes there's no footage at all.

And sometimes, what's even worse, is sometimes there's footage -- but it's just not worth sitting through two or three minutes worth of credits.

There are actually a few different apps that provide this information, so you can go into the movie knowing whether or not you want to sit through the end credits. But the one I've come to rely on most is Anything After.

Anything After does cost 99 cents, but because of that, you're not bogged down by stupid ads popping up whenever you want to quickly plug in the title of a film before the trailers start playing. The films are relatively easy to find because they're listed by what's in theaters.

If you're looking for an older title, then click the button and type it in.

The best part is you get peer responses on whether a credit cookie is worth the wait. In my case, however, even if it's been downvoted, I tend to hang around just to see what it was people didn't necessarily like about the after-credit scene.

I do that mostly because I want to be able to add my reason as to why the scene ain't that great, which is an option with the Anything After app.

This app has also saved my skin a couple of times as I've been heading out of the movie theater. I decided to double check to see if "Anchorman 2" had something to wait for, and indeed, it did. Of course the scene wasn't actually that great, so I noted it as such in the app. But at least I wouldn't be left wondering what I missed.

The Anything After app is available on iOS and Android devices.